Can't breathe easy
by Starsgoblue91
Summary: (Alec Lightwood/ Jalec/ Malec) Okay, so this is a story where Alec's dad actually hits him because of his relationship with Magnus, I hope you're going to like it and I'm not really sure why I like to write about such things but I do so - please tell me what you think so I can write more chapters! I don't own anything, you all have Cassandra Claire to thank!
1. Chapter 1

_"Alexander!"_  
_"Yes?_" he smiled and turned around.

His father surely took him by surprise, it'd been years since they'd been together in the attic. They used to train here before him and Jace - his dad showing him different tricks. Alec had always respected his father, maybe that was why he never tried to stop what was going to happen, he didn't have a chance to do it.

_One_ - his underlip split

_Two_ - a sting, just above his left eye, made him flinch back before his father raised his fist once again and placed it-

_Three_ - in his stomache.

_"I want you to stop whatever it is you're doing with that Warlock"_ his father breathed without looking him in the eyes.

Alec wasn't sure if his words or actions hurt the most but he knew that he'd much rather fight a demon then his own father. By the Angel, he would have killed that demon before his father had even laid a hand on him but this was different. He couldn't do anything against his father.

_"Why?"_ Alec asked as he wiped away some blood from his mouth.

His eye hurt. Everything inside him hurt. He couldn't remember the last time his father had hit him - it must have been just a slap in the face or something when he was little. He felt dizzy.

_"Because it's disgusting. It's wrong."_

He was just about to raise his hand again, making Alec curl up, when the door opened. It was Jace.

_"Oh, sorry - I didn't mean to interrupt!"_ he smiled and looked at Robert.

He then met Alec's eyes and in a second, it was gone.

_"What's going on?"_ he wondered and took a step forward Alec when Robert stopped him by laying a hand on his shoulder.

_"It's okay, Alec and I was just talking about what's-his-name? Ma-"_

_"Magnus"_ Alec whispered and smiled as tears started to roll down his face _"His name is Magnus."_


	2. Chapter 2

He could feel Jace's eyes on him as they stood silent. Alec didn't look at any of them, just swallowed hard to try and stop the tears.

_"Magnus"_ his father mumbled suddenly before looking at Alec, Jace standing next to him.

_"We can talk later, I assume you guys are going to practice?"_ he continued before walked up to the door, turning his head.  
_"I'm sorry Alec"_

Then he left.

_"Alec-_" Jace tried with a low voice after Robert had gone. He reached out to his parabatai who jerked back

_"Don't-don't touch me…"_

_"Alec you're bleeding, what happened? What's wrong?_"

_"Nothing"_ Alec tried to smile _"Nothing's wrong"_ he continued just as Jace raised his hand to touch his shoulder.

_"I said don't touch me!"_ he screamed  
He was heading against the door but Jace was too fast and blocked it by holding out his arms

_"I'm not going to hurt you"_

His voice was sad and it made Alec feel even sadder.

He was still in shock. Now the real pain was starting to show, especially inside him. It felt like his chest was about to explode and he started shaking.  
He could feel Jace's arms around him as he fell down on the floor.

_"Jace-"_ he cried  
_"Sh, it's okay…"_ He stroke him on the back.

Did Robert actually hit him? Why?

**(Please let me know what you think - should I continue because I know what I'm about to write ;) ) **


	3. Chapter 3

**(First of all - thank you so much for the reviews and stuff, I hope you're going keep reading it and if you have some ideas about what should happen you can always write something, otherwise just please continue to give me feedback! Enjoy! :) ) **

After a while Jace finally could convince Alec to follow him down to the kitchen to get some ice for his eye. Alec followed him like a child, head down, he didn't want to run in to someone, especially not his father.

_"Sit down"_ Jace said and drew out a chair._ "You know, I could always use a rune-"_ he tried but Alec stopped him before he could go on

_"No rune...let it be."_

Although the scars on the outside could be fixed, Jace couldn't fix what was broken inside of him.

_"Could you please just tell me what happened?_" Jace tried again and sat down next to Alec.

He showed him the bag of ice, wanting Alec to approve that he was going to touch him, before he placed one hand on Alec's shoulder so he wouldn't jerk back again and held the ice against his eye - Alec let him.  
Although their relationship never had been on a physical plan he felt calmer by his parabatai's touch - closer than brothers. Still he didn't like to show himself weak in front of anyone, especially not Jace; they lived together, trained together, fought together. It really was a special band between them.

_"He hit me"_ Alec mumbled and he could feel Jace tense.

_"He hit you?_" Jace replied, he could hear that he was upset. _"Why would he do that?"_

_"Great, so you don't believe me-_" Alec stood up but Jace was to fast for him as he pulled him down again

_"It's not __that__ Alec - why would he do that?"_ Jace try again, determined to convince Alec that he was on his side - because he was.

_"What do you think? Because of my relationship with Magnus of course"_ Alec cried _"I shouldn't have known that he wouldn't accept it, he never will - who want's his son to be gay?"_

_"I-I would"_ Jace stammered before it was too late but at least it made Alec crack up a little

_"Yeah, sure you would."_

Both of them then went silent for a while. Alec could still taste some blood in his mouth mixed with the salt from his tears.  
Why couldn't he stop crying?

_"I'm calling Magnus."_ Jace mumbled

_"No! You can't do that-"_

_"Of course I can and I will, so he can talk to you and Robert or I will!"_

_"Jace!_" Alec cried out once again and grabbed his arm

_"By the Angel what are you two doing?"_

In the doorway stood his mother, giving them both a strange look.


	4. Chapter 4

**(Once again, thank you so much for your reviews and comments - I really appreciate it! Some of you were wondering what Magnus and Maryse would say about all this - be patient my friends ;) I hope you'll like it and please let me know what you think about it!) **

Alec looked away, trying his best to wipe away the tears, hoping that Jace would cover for him - he didn't want his mother to see him cry, he was a grown up for the Clave and boys don't cry - not even if they get hit by their own father.

_"Oh nothing-_" Jace replied, looking at Alec through the corner of his eye _"I happened to go a little too hard on Alec when we were up on the attic" _he tried to smile_._

Maryse put the groceries down on the sink and walked up to the boys, still half sitting at the table. Jace was no longer holding the ice against Alec's eye, neither was Alec.

_"You know - you should practice killing demons, not each others" _

She noticed how Alec wouldn't meet her eyes, placing her hand upon his cheek to turn his head up. He closed his eyes.

_"Are you okay?_" she sounded worried _"You look sick darling…"_

_"I don't feel so good actually."_ Alec mumbled and she stroke his hair.  
He was still his little boy time to time, even though she knew that he was all grown up.

Normally Alec would have blushed because he knew that Jace would tease him later, but he was to tired now. He didn't care.

_"Jace-_" Maryse said _"Will you follow Alec to his room and make sure he doesn't pass out or something? Try to get some sleep and I'll wake you up when it's time for dinner, okay?"_

Jace followed Alec upstairs, telling him that he should have said something to Maryse. They stopped outside Alec's door.

_"Jace, I'm begging you - don't say anything to Magnus, or Mum or Izzy. I need you to promise me that okay?"_

_"But she should know, Magnus too._"

_"Why? I don't want anyone to know, okay? I doubt that it will happen again."_

Still he knew that Jace noticed that he was looking to see if Robert would hear them when they stood in the hallway.

_"I still think you should tell Magnus"_

_"Well I won't and neither will you, got it?"_ Alec said determined while opening the bedroom door.

He was starting to get irritated on Jace even though he knew that he only wanted to help him.

_"Fine"_ Jace said grimly and then the door shut.  
He did not like this at all, he just hoped that Alec was right, that it would not happen again.

He threw himself on the bed, burying his head in the pillow and sighed. This was really not what he'd expected, not even from his father.  
Sure, when he'd told his parents that he was dating Magnus he understood that maybe his father wouldn't approve to it at first, but at least he didn't think he would hate it this much.

Suddenly someone knocked on the door but he didn't move, to scared that it could be Robert. He didn't like the feeling of being careful around his father, he hadn't thought that the incident would affect him like this but it had. He almost held his breath as he reached for his phone as he kept his eyes on the door.

**Can I come over? xoxo**

Whoever it was on the other side of the door they walked away after a while, he could hear footsteps walking away and just a few seconds later his phone vibrated

**Please do. xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5

_"Who dares to disturb the High Warlock of Brooklyn?"_

Alec rolled his eyes but found himself smiling

_"It's me and you know it, or did you expect even better company?"_

The door opened_ "I certainly did not"_ Magnus smiled

He was wearing black leather pants and a dark red shirt, his hair just the way Alec liked it and his cat-eyes shone. Alec placed his right hand around his neck and kissed him before Magnus closed the door.

_"How are you?_" he wondered and glanced at him as they walked into the living room.

_"Fine"_ Alec tried to smile although he knew that Magnus could tell that something was up.

_"Are you sure? You look tired darling."_

He could feel Magnus arms around him, he leaned his head against his shoulders and told him that he was but that it didn't matter.  
How could his father not approve on this? How could he not understand that he loved this man, that no one else made him feel like he wanted to be seen by this man - he was always in the back when it came to Jace and Izzy and he didn't mind, but now - he had found someone he really liked and cared about. How could that be wrong?

They sat down on the couch, Magnus kissing him once again and stroked his forehead

_"You're still beautiful though"_ he smiled and looked him in the eyes

Alec blushed and broke the eye contact, staring down into the floor but then looked up again and smiled

_"It's because you keep telling me that I am…"_

Before he'd met Magnus he'd always felt like a part of him was missing - he used to hope for it to be Jace but now he knew that it was Magnus.

_"You know, I can also tell you how beautiful you look without clothes on - in my bedroom"_

_"I'm sure you can_" Alec chuckled but stopped when he saw Magnus biting his own lip and continued  
_"I'm sure you can show me something as well…"_

He kissed him passionately, letting his hands find the blue-eyed boy's belt and opened it roughly. Alec breathed heavily and closed his eyes as he felt Magnus's lips on his neck.  
They moved towards the bed, Alec being pushed down on it and took of his shirt. He still wasn't used to Magnus's eyes on him, taking him in inch by inch.

_"What did I do to deserve you?"_ the Warlock whispered and touched Alec's stomach. _"Wait here, I'll be right back!"_

_"But-"_ Alec stammered _"No,no, Magnus come here, what are you doing?"_

_"You'll see"_ he kissed him on the cheek and Alec laid down in the bed.

He felt relaxed, the angst he felt back home hadn't followed him here and Magnus could always make him feel better, not only by his touch. He closed his eyes.

A few minutes later the door opened and Magnus told Alec that he was going to like this. He turned around - Alec had fallen asleep.  
He chuckled to himself, he wasn't mad. He thought he looked peaceful - he must have been really tired.

_"My angel…"_ Magnus whispered as he laid down beside him, kissing him on the cheek.

**(I know you wanted Magnus to find out but I have a plan, be patient my friends :P Hope you liked it and will continue reading :) ) **


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi guys - sorry I haven't given you a new chapter in a couple of days - Hope you'll like it, hopefully you will get the next one in just a day or two! Please keep letting me know what you think :) ) **

_"Alexander!" his father shouted once again_

_One - his underlip split_

_Two - a fist into his stomach_  
_It all happened so fast that he didn't have the time to protect himself…_

He woke up with a jerk and sat up in the bed. He stroke his hands over his hair and tensed as he felt a hand on his right shoulder.

_"Alexander?"_ Magnus said and sat up as well _"Are you okay?"_

Alec leaned in and kissed him while he closed his eyes

_"Yes,just a bad dream. You go back to sleep…"_

They laid down together again, Alec resting his head on Magnus chest - he wanted to tell Magnus but he didn't know how or when.  
It was all coming back to him now and he really didn't like the feeling of going back home tomorrow.

_"I love you Magnus"_ he whispered and kissed his chest

He could feel the Warlock smile as he stopped breathing for one second before he kissed his head.

_"And I love you"_

* * *

In the morning Magnus woke him up with a kiss on his cheek before it went down to his neck and stomach. Alec moaned and smiled as he turned his head towards Magnus

_"Well good morning to you too"_

Magnus smiled back at first before he suddenly exclaimed

_"Alec, what happened to your eye?"_

_Fuck_. Alec quickly looked away, trying to come up with something to say.

_"Huh? Oh, nothing - Jace accidentally hit me with this elbow and, you know, while we were practicing, so yeah…"_

_"Hm"_ the Warlock mumbled

Should he tell him now? Was this the moment he'd been waiting for? No, he'd already made up that it was Jace and since they did practice fighting demons it didn't sound weird. Magnus knew that he always got bruises and stuff when they were out.

_"Hey"_ Alec moved closer _"You give me bruises too sometimes"_ he smiled and kissed him on the mouth

_"That's because of that stamina rune of yours"_ Magnus replied

_"I thought you liked that"_ Alec laughed and looked at him, pouting his lips looking like a puppy - he knew Magnus couldn't resist that.  
He was right.

_"...I do."_ The Warlock bit his lips before he touched Alec's cheek, looking him in the eyes.

_"Lucky for you, it looks kind of hot"_


	7. Chapter 7

_"I'm going to miss you"_ Magnus mumbled into the kiss

_"Me too"_ Alec smiled as he reached for his jacket and headed towards the door

_"Call me?"_

They kissed goodbye, Alec really didn't want to go but he knew his father would be furious if he'd found out where he was. The angst made him feel a little dizzy as he stepped down the stair.

_"Alexander!"_

He stopped. His heart was pounding as he slowly turned around

_"Yes…?"_

_"Don't let Jace win over you - I know you can take him anyday"_ Magnus smiled and shut the door

* * *

He stopped outside the big door to the Institute and took a deep breath. He wondered if his father had been to his room last night and found out that he wasn't in his bed. But then again, why would he come to his room? He hadn't been in there for years. Like the attic...

_"Are you going to stand here all day?"_

He turned around to see Simon and Clary and tried to smile

_"Hi-"_

_"What happened to your eye?"_ Simon wondered and walked pass him

He stared into the ground, oh how he regretted not accepting the healing rune that Jace had offered him.

Once inside he tried to be polite when spoken to inside the elevator but he couldn't really concentrate.

_"So, did you spend the night over at Magnus'?"_ Clary wondered and looked at him

He tensed without really knowing why.

_"Uhm, yes - why?"_

_"Nothing,"_ she smiled _"Jace was a little worried about you yesterday that's all"_

_"And you have a hickey on your neck"_ Simon filled in as the elevator doors opened

_Great._

They stepped out of the elevator just to find Jace waiting for them

_"Finally!"_ he exhaled and continued, pointing at Alec _"You. I need to talk to you"_

_"Well someone certainly had a rough night"_ Izzy smiled at him _"I don't even want to think about what Magnus looks like"_

_"Shut up"_ Alec mumbled

He was starting to get a headache of all the questions and remarks about his appearance, he stroked his hands over his face and looked at Jace again.

_"What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?"_


	8. Chapter 8

**(So, I should really study right now but I can't concentrate, I just want to continue writing on this story so lucky you; here's another chapter! Hope you'll like it ;) )**

Jace grabbed him by the hand and mumbled a 'sorry' to Clary who followed Simon and Izzy to the kitchen.

They went upstairs and into Jace's room.

_"So?"_ Alec asked as he closed the door

_"So, what?"_ Jace replied and walked up to the window

Alec rolled his eyes

_"Well, you wanted to talk to me?"_

_"Did you tell Magnus?"_ Jace said with a determined voice

_"Is that all you wanted to talk to me about?"_

_"Alec!"_ Jace said and turned around _"Did you tell him or not?"_

_"Of course not - I told you I wouldn't, I couldn't!"_ Alec cried and it was true

Jace gazed at him before he turned his back again. It had started raining. _"Hm…"_

_"I told everyone that you were asleep when I checked in on you last night and that you had told your mum that you didn't feel so good…"_ he then continued, waiting for Alec to thank him or something but he didn't.

He exhaled and turned around again, just to find his parabatai standing in front of the mirror, his hand on his face.

_"Are you alright?"_ Jace wondered and walked up to him

_"I guess..I guess I just didn't think everyone would notice-or care"_

His eye was mixed with yellow and purple - it didn't hurt anymore, at least not on the outside.

_"Why not? We all care about you you know"_ Jace replied and put a hand on his shoulder _"Besides, no one can avoid that hickey of yours"_

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, one that caused Alec to jerk back, standing on Jace's foot. Was it his father?

The door slowly opened and Alec disappeared into the shadows for a few seconds before he saw who it was.

_"Jace? Oh, sorry guys-"_ Clary smiled

_"Don't worry"_ Alec smiled back_ "I was just about to leave"_

He turned to Jace before he walked out the door

_"Thank you."_

Clary looked after him before she shut it.

_"Is he okay?"_

_"I don't know"_ Jace mumbled and laid down on the bed.

* * *

_"Dinner is ready!"_ Isabelle screamed outside his door.

He had managed to get some sleep after he'd talked to Jace. This time he wasn't mad about all his questions and remarks that he should talk to Magnus - he really did care.  
He slowly walked down to the kitchen. He didn't look forward to the dinner though, he knew that Izzy might still say something about the way he looked and that it was all because of Magnus, she would just make things worse without really knowing. But most of all he was worried about his father…

_"Alec! Jace, please tell me it's you who gave him that black eye"_ Maryse exclaimed when he walked into the diningroom.

Jace looked at her with an open mouth but didn't have the time to respond before Izzy was there.

_"Maybe it was Mag-"_

_"What's for dinner?"_ Alec interrupted and sat down.

He noticed that his father wasn't there yet and he relaxed a little...

They'd been eating for a couple of minutes when Alec heard a voice he recognised

_"Feeling better now Alexander?"_

Alec dropped his fork and swallowed. He gazed at Jace who met his eyes.

_"Uhm-"_

_"Sorry I'm late, I had some paperworks. Maybe you could help me with that after the dinner Alec?"_

_"Sure…"_ he mumbled and watched as Jace carefully shook his head, not wanting his father to notice.

**(So, what do you think? Maybe I should quit this story...NAAH, just kidding :P )**


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay, I'm not as pleased with this chapter as the others but I just want to move along in the story, I hope you like it anyways!**

After the dinner Alec helped his mother with the dishes, still wondering whether it was a good idea to leave Jace and his father alone - Jace wouldn't say anything, right?

_"Alec, did you hear me?"_ his mother said

He looked up from the plate and turned his head

_"Huh? Oh, sorry…"_

_"Are you alright, did something happen over at Magnus?"_ his mother put her hand upon his, telling him to stop what he was doing

_"No of course not, why do you ask?"_ Alec mumbled without really wanting to look at her

_"It's just - it's just that you seem a little different nowadays, you looked sad and tired yesterday and now you show up like this-"_

_"I'm fine._" Alec reassured her _"Me and Magnus are fine"_ he smiled carefully

The kitchen door opened and Jace came in, followed by Robert and Izzy

_"Do you need any help?"_ Jace wondered and looked at Alec who shook his head

_"Well, I do_" Robert said _"Alec, could you please help me in my office?"_ he continued without really looking at him

Alec swallowed and bent his head down as his father now stood beside him to fill up a glas of water

_"Yeah.."_

_"Come with me then"_ he mumbled and kissed Maryse on her cheek

Alec could feel how Jace followed them with his eyes and he knew that he didn't like the idea of him being alone with his father, but at the same time - he wouldn't have known anything if he hadn't walked in on them in the attic. For a second Alec regret that he had told Jace about what had happened, then he wouldn't act any different, just liked Alec. Robert was still his father and as they walked out of the kitchen door, Alec prayed that his father really just wanted his help…

* * *

Alec carefully closed the door behind them and watched as his father walked up to the desk.

He'd always loved this room, it was powerful in some kind of way.

_"How's your eye?"_ his father mumbled

"_What was it that you wanted help with?"_ Alec wondered, pretending that he hadn't heard the question and pulled out a chair, he didn't want to stay longer than necessary and it made him a little sad, he wasn't used to feel this way.

His father pointed at a pile of papers and sat down as well, his eyes still on Alec.

_"Jace told me you didn't feel so good last night, does it have anything to do with what happened on the attic?" _

_"I'm fine_" Alec whispered, trying to ignore the burning in his throat

_"Does he know?"_ his father then said with a low voice

Alec didn't know what to answer and a few seconds later his face was on the desk, his father holding him down.

**(Is it okay still?) **


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay, so i'm much more pleased with this chapter and I have tried to do what some of you asked me to; with longer chapters and everything is in the same style, except for the characters thoughts now.  
When I first started on this story I wanted to have Alec in every scene but this is a different one, I noticed how you're missing quite a lot even when he's not in the same room etc. So I hope you're going to like it :))**

Isabelle noticed how Jace followed Alec with his eyes as he walked out the door.

"Is something wrong?" she wondered and placed a hand on Jace's shoulder

"No" Jace mumbled and headed towards the stairs

She followed him, knowing that something was going on - she could feel it.

"I can tell that you're worried about something" Isabelle continued and tried to meet Jace's eyes.

"And I can tell you that you're wrong" Jace replied and was just about to tell her to leave him alone when Isabelle slammed him against the wall.

"Tell me, what's going on?" she said determined

She was really strong and when it came to her family, she would do anything to protect them, Jace knew that and loved that about her, even if he'd never told her.

"Is it about Alec-Alec and Magnus? Why does Alec has a black eye and why are you looking at him like that?" Isabelle cried

"Izzy-"

"Just tell me!"

Jace swallowed and looked away. He had promised Alec not to say anything and he didn't want to break his promise, still…

"Alec.. Alec and Magnus had a fight, that's all and that's why he's been acting a little weird lately. _But_, I gave him the black eye when we were practicing" Jace exhaled

"About what? Is he okay?" Isabelle looked at him with big eyes

"I promised Alec not to tell you, or your mum-"

"Well you should have, both of you!" she said and hit his right arm before she let go of him

"I'm sorry" Jace mumbled and stared into the ground, rubbing his arm

"I just wish he would have told me. And since when did you get so soft, listening to Alec and doing what he asks you to do?!"

For a second she could see that Jace was hurt by her words but a moment later it was gone.

"What do you mean?" he wondered

"Oh come on, he's always looking after you, and me, and you know he lov-"

"Loves me. I love him too, like a brother and he know's that, it's just-"

"Just what?" Isabelle whispered, she was starting to get upset, Jace could tell and he hated to see her like this. He raised his head.

"Like I said, I made a promise - if you want to know what's going on maybe you should ask Alec"

"Oh I will," Isabelle replied "And I will kill Magnus Bane if he ever breaks by brother's heart."

_And I will kill your father it he ever puts his hand on Alec again, and he will kill me for breaking my promise,_ Jace thought

"Izzy, I have to-" he started but was interrupted by a noise further down the hall. "Wait here."

* * *

"I said, does-he-know?" his father breathed and Alec could feel the pressure on his back.

He shook his head, to afraid to answer. His father grabbed his hair again and slammed his head in the desk; one, two, three times.  
Alec felt dizzy and once again he could taste the blood in his mouth, not sure whether it was from his lip or nose.

"Please stop" he pleaded and tried to push away his father's hands but the grip just tightened.

"No, you stop Alexander!" his father breathed "I told you that you should stop seeing that man - you're only hurting yourself by doing this. If you stop, I'll stop."

"I'll stop" Alec whispered "Please dad…"

The grip on his neck loosened and his father helped him to turn around. As Alec faced him, Robert looked at him for a long time. His nose was bleeding, so was his lips, he had a gash over his right eye and Robert could tell he was trying to fight away the tears. It reminded him of when Alec was little, he'd hurt himself, he couldn't remember how right now, and Alec had come to him - Robert had told him that it was okay to cry and had kissed his forehead.

"Does he know?" his father whispered once again and stroke Alec's cheek

Alec closed his eyes and swallowed hard, now the blood was mixed with salt and he just wished for Jace to walk in on them again.

"No" he mumbled before Robert hit him again. He broke his nose.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi guys! Thank you so much for still beeing here, waiting for a new chapter hopefully and I'm sorry that it have taken so long, it's beenquite a lot in school and stuff but I hope you're going to like it ;) And please, continued with your lovely reviews! Here we go..**

* * *

Watching Jace run down the corridor, Isabelle rolled her eyes and sighed. Why couldn't he just have a real conversation with her for once, not interrupt or run away because of some noise - what did he think it was, demons? She headed towards her room with firm steps but stopped outside her brother's bedroom door.

"Alec?" she said and leaned against it "Are you in there, I need to talk to you."

No answer. She slowly opened the door, remembering that he was with their dad in his office and turned around to see if Jace, or someone else, would see her before she sneaked in. The room was an organized mess, some clothes both on the floor and on the bed, two books on the nightstand with a lamp, light off and of course, his cell phone. She picked it up and sat down on the bed, opening a new message with shaky fingers.

**Dear Magnus,**

**If you ever hurt Alec, I will personally kill you - twice.**

**xoxo Izzy**

* * *

"Alec?!" Jace screamed and pushed up the door, finding Robert and Alec by the desk.

"Oh, hi Jace" Robert replied with a smile as he put a hand on Alec's shoulder who jerked back "We're just finished."

Jace quickly looked at Alec as he stood up, head down and he didn't want to meet his eyes.

Had Robert hurt him again? It was hard to tell since there wasn't a single cut on his face, still his eyes were glossy.

"I-I heard noises" Jace mumbled and moved his gaze to Robert again

"Yeah, I accidentally dropped the glass on the floor" Robert replied, making Jace look down and indeed, he saw glass fragments beside the desk. Alec was now standing beside him, still quiet but his eyes said it all - _leave it,let's go_.

Jace opened the door and squeezed Alec's shoulder, following him out of the office

"Thank you for your help son" Robert shouted after him before the door closed.

"Are you alright?" Jace reached for Alec's hand but he pushed it away

"Please, I just want to go to sleep…"

Jace drew his hand through his hair and sighed, watching as Alec headed towards his room, still standing outside the office when Robert walked out of there. He looked surprise and at the same time reserved.

"Jace" he mumbled, head down and Jace clenched his fist, still upset about what Robert had done to Alec.

"You _know _that I know, right?" he whispered "And I swear, by the angel-"

"Know what?" Robert hesitated "Listen Jace-"

"No, you listen!" Jace screamed and tried his best to hold himself together, wanting to punch Robert in the face just like he'd done to his son."Alec told me-" but before he could finish the door to Alec's room opened with rage

"ISABELLE!" Alec screamed and slammed the door while breathing heavily, making a grunting sound, eyes black as the river Thames at night.

"Alec, what's wrong?" he could hear Jace walking up to him, jerking back as Alec held up his phone just a few inches from Jace's face

"This is wrong-" Alec cried, his voice about to break as he looked at his friend

"Dear Magnus, if you..oh" Jace mumbled and swallowed "This is not good…"

"Exactly what did you tell her Jace, and don't lie to me"

"Uhm, I-"

"_Isabelle_!" Alec screamed once again, still gazing at Jace - _if looks could kill_…

He didn't even care to knock on her door, he just walked in

"_Alec_!" his sister cried, wrapping the towel around her "What the hell"

"What did you do Izzy?"

"What do you mean?" she wondered just as she saw Jace standing in the door with Alec's phone. "Oh.."

"Oh? _OH_? Is that all you two have to say to me?" Alec complained

"Alec come on" Jace tried and stepped into the room as well, closing the door behind them so no one could hear them. "You know she means well-"

"What am I supposed to tell Magnus, huh?" Alec stared out into nowhere before he bite his lips, stopping himself from crying. He felt the panic rise, and not only because of Isabelle's message but because of what had happened inside the office. Alec's biggest fear had come true - his father had hit him again; slamming his head into the desk,hitting him in the stomach, in his face, breaking his nose and then… he had stopped. He had stopped just to draw an _iratze_ on him before Jace had walked in so he wouldn't know - Yes, his biggest fear had come true because now, his father would be able to continue this, in silent, pretending that what happened in the attic was just this one time, just like Alec had hoped it to be. No one would know the truth but he and his father and even though the cuts and bruises was gone, it still hurt inside him, more than ever.

"I'm sorry" Isabelle said as she approached him "I just don't want you to get hurt"

Alec closed his eyes and nodded before he turned around to look at Jace, reaching out his hand

"Give me my phone" Alec mumbled and grabbed it as he pushed past Jace, walking out of the room.


	12. Chapter 12

**(I'm not sure if you liked the last chapter or not but I do know that you want me to continue so, I hope you'll like it ;))**

* * *

They watched Alec disappear through the door, not even able to stop him.

"What on earth was that?" Isabelle asked astonished, her hair still wet from the shower she had just step out from when Alec had stomped into the room.

"You shouldn't have sent that message to Magnus" Jace mumbled and looked at her, shaking his head before he walked out as well.

"Great! Why explain something to me, no no.." Izzy exclaimed before she started to fumble through the clothes, lying on her bed. _Brothers!_

Jace saw Alec swung around the corner, on his way down the stair with determined steps.

"Alec wait!" Jace shouted and started to run after him and for some reason Alec stopped.

"Jace, please-"

"I'm sorry for telling Izzy-"

"_WHAT_?!" Alec cried and looked like Jace had slapped him in the face, placing his hands on his hips

"NO! No no, not that - I told her that you and Magnus had a fight and that's why you've been acting so weird lately" Jace explained and tried to remain calm. Why couldn't Alec understand?  
For a second Alec felt guilty, deep down he knew that both Jace and his sister just wanted to help him - why couldn't he help himself by telling his father to stop?

"If she _ever_ finds out…" Alec whispered

"You are a dead man and so am I - to be honest, I'm more scared of her than your dad" Jace smiled carefully and shine up when he saw Alec do the same, it didn't last for long but he was sure he'd seen in. "Still, about your dad-"

Alec turned around, afraid that he was behind him and hit Jace on his arm when he noticed he wasn't.

"Please don't do that" he said and continued walking down the stair again, Jace following him.  
It was funny, Alec thought - Alec was always the one following Jace around like a puppy for attention, wanting to know where he was going and worrying about him - now it was the other way around.

"Where're you going?" Jace wondered, Alec could tell that he was annoyed.

"Where do you think? Magnus's place of course, I have to try to clean up this mess - _your_ mess, as always."

"Huh" Jace mumbled as he stopped, letting Alec walk away.

* * *

"Who dares to disturb the High Warlock of Brooklyn?" Magnus voice echoed as usual.

"Uhm, it's me" Alec mumbled, not as confident as the last time.

"A Lightwood? My lover or my killer?" Magnus replied as he opened the door, looking beautiful as always "Are you alone of should I evoke a demon or two?"

"Very funny" Alec tried but noticed that Magnus was only half joking "I need to talk to you about Izzy…"

"Oh you think?" Magnus said and Alec could tell that he was hurt and confused. Just like himself.  
They stepped into the apartment, the only place where he usually didn't have to feel uncomfortable or worried, where he could just be himself and feel loved, but this time it felt different, of course - the atmosphere tense and Alec hated it.

"Look, I can explain" Alec began as they sat down opposite each other in the couch, searching his lovers eyes but it was tough."Okay...somehow Izzy got hold of my phone-"

"Yes, I noticed that." Magnus grumbled and sighed

"Uhm, yeah - anyway she got hold of it aa-and she thinks that I've been acting-"

"Weird" Magnus filled in. Alec looked down, feeling almost defeated by his lover's words, knowing that Magnus had sensed it too the last time he was here.

"Yes." Alec whispered. "But, it's not because of you and you know that! It has absolutely nothing to do with you, with..us, it's just that Jace-"

"Well why am I not surprised?" Magnus interrupted and was just about to stand up to leave when Alec grabbed his hand, his eyes begging him to stay. Damn those eyes.

"Please! Let me finish" Alec pleaded, his voice breaking and all he wanted to do was jump on his lover and overwhelm him with kisses so he really would know that it wasn't Magnus's fault. It was his own.

"Fine" Magnus exhaled and glanced at him "Sorry…"

"No, _I'm_ sorry" Alec smiled carefully, his eyes glossy as he leaned in to kiss the Warlock "I'm so sorry, so sorry" he whispered as the kiss deepened, not wanting to break away but Magnus's hand on his chest told him to stop, at least for a second.

"Alec-" Magnus breathed

"Rii-ght, uhm - Jace, Jace told her that we'd been fighting and yeah, I guess Izzy believed him and, well you know what she's like" Alec continued, hoping for Magnus to understand.

"So she thinks that _I_ gave you that black eye of yours? Hm, it's gone by the way" The Warlock observed and stroked away the hair from Alec's face, almost as to reassure him that he hadn't been wrong.

"Oh yeah - healing rune" Alec swallowed and remembered the whole situation in his father's office, still relaxing a bit because of his lover's touch - oh how he had missed it.

"Hm. Well, lucky you to have such an overprotective sister-" Magnus said in a low voice

Alec sighed and rested his head in his hands, knowing that he still hadn't convinced his lover that everything was fine and it was just a mistake - but on the same time, could he blame him?

"I-I'm sorry for acting weird, it's just…" Alec mumbled, feeling his throat burn and raised his head again to look at Magnus - he was leaning against the armrest of the sofa, arms crossed and his eyes sad.

"Why can't you just tell me what's going on, for real?" Magnus begged him "I can feel that something's not right"

"I ca-an't" Alec whispered and he couldn't hold back the tears anymore "Maybe I should go" he sobbed, trying to wipe away some of the tears from his face. He carefully stood up, feeling a little dizzy as Magnus reached out to touch his hand this time.

"Alexander..." Magnus said but his words got interrupted by Alec, pulling him closer to him, grasping his shirt as if his life depended on it as he kept on crying. Magnus laid his hands around him and stroked his lover on his head, not sure what was going on.

"Darling" he whispered but Alec's grip of his shirt just tightened and he buried his face deeper in it.  
Oh God, it hurt - it hurt just to breath, it hurt to feel his lovers arms around him, the thought of his dad hurt and everything that he had done, it hurt not to be able to tell his lover what was going on and Alec panicked, finding it hard to breath, not able to get any air between his sobbings.  
Magnus's grip around him tightened and he shook him

"Alexander, look at me-" Magnus begged, staring him in the eyes as he heard the whistling in his lover's throat  
"It's going to be okay, just relax."

His voice was calming even if Alec almost couldn't hear it, his ears were ringing and he slowly sank down to the floor...


	13. Chapter 13

**Hi guys! I'm so sorry to keep you waiting, the truth is that I haven't had the time, or the inspiration to write a new chapter right now but today it hit me haha so I hope you will enjoy it. Althought, I suck at writing sex scenes, that's why I'm not giving you everything in this chapter and why it may seem like Magnus and Alec never have done it before, but that is not the case ;) Please tell me what you think! Here we go...**

* * *

"Alexander?" he could hear a voice far away but he sure recognized it

"Magnus" he breathed and slowly opened his eyes. He could see Magnus above him, his arms around his waist since he was lying in his arm on the floor "Wh-what happened?" Alec wondered and tried to sit up

"You passed out" the Warlock replied and stroke his hair before handing him a glass of water and smiled carefully. Alec took it with shaky hands and slowly started to remember what had happened.

"I'm sorry" he whispered and closed his eyes, still feeling a little dizzy.

"Don't worry. We can talk more about this tomorrow, you should try to get some sleep." Magnus replied and helped him up, making Alec fall into his arms. He could feel the wet shirt under his hands after his breakdown and swallowed hard.

"Magnus…"

He could feel the Warlock's hands around his waist, reassuring him that he wouldn't let go of him.

"It's alright darling."

As they moved towards the bedroom, all the light in the apartment was put off behind them thanks to Magnus. He closed the bedroom door in the same time as Alec started to sob again.

"Oh baby" Magnus smiled carefully and told him to sit down on the bed "What's wrong?"

"You..you shouldn't want-want me here" Alec whispered between his sobbings but Magnus stopped him by placing his forefinger on his lips and Alec kissed it while closing his eyes once again.

"You know that's not true" Magnus replied and raised Alec's cheek to look him in the eyes. "I always want you here…"

They laid down together, Alec snuggling closer to Magnus while exhaling

"I wouldn't want..want to have me here"

"Well I'm not you." Magnus said

_Thank god_, Alec thought without realizing that he was whimpering before he could feel his boyfriend's lips on his own at the same time as he rubbed his shoulder. The mix of salt from his own tears and Magnus's soft lips did go quite well together even though he was breaking away from the kiss a few seconds later. He sat up, Magnus still lying down as Alec started to take of his shirt before straddling him.

"Alexander" Magnus began but Alec stopped him

"Please" he whispered, leaning down so he could kiss the Warlock's neck. He could feel Magnus tense under him but he didn't stop as his lips moved down to his lover's chest and stomach. Seconds later Alec could feel a hand in his hair, pulling him back up

"Alexander, this is not-" Magnus exhaled and look at Alec with sad eyes.

Alec knew he was blushing as he once again felt defeated by his lover's words but he didn't care.

"Please" he said once again "I can take it."

He kissed him on the lips again, begging Magnus for entrance before he gave in and Magnus moved so he was on top of Alec instead, taking off his own shirt of as well

"Remind me again why I'm letting you convince me to make love to you right now when you're this vulnerable" Magnus mumbled and stroke Alec's cheek.

"Because you love me" Alec replied and placed his hand around Magnus's neck to drag him back down. The touch of his boyfriend's fingers against his waist made Alec shiver even though he was still a little dazed because of the breakdown. But he needed this, he wanted this. The touch of Magnus always made him relax and right now he needed it more then ever, just to know he was still alive.

He dragged his fingers down the Warlock's back and bit his lips, glad that he had stopped crying. Magnus dragged down his pants before removing his own.

"Are you absolutely sure about this?" Magnus asked once again "Because I don't know what to do if you break down in the middle of my mind blowing sex act, I mean, I may be the High Warlock of Brooklyn but honey, even that will undermine my confidence for a second." he continued and smiled carefully.

"Magnus, please…" and in that moment Magnus's lips were on their way down to Alec's stomach and down to his waist, just to remove his underwear to be able to kiss further down.  
Alec raised his hips, shivering once again by his lover's warm mouth. He squealed in silent as his boyfriend's hand started to stroke him slowly.


	14. Chapter 14

**(Alright people - there's not much more to say then... Shit is going down and there's all or nothing! I hope you're just as worried/excited as I am! Please please let me know what you think with your lovely reviews! ;) Enjoy..or whatever haha :P :'( **

* * *

It was 11 o'clock when Isabelle knocked on Alec's door for the second time that day.

"Alec, are you awake?"

"He's with Magnus" she could hear Jace mumble behind her before she turned around "Jace, you scared me. What are you doing here?"

" I live here" Jace smiled sarcastically before Isabelle hit him on the shoulder "I'm waiting for him to come back of course. Although I doubt he will…" he continued and leaned against the wall. _He looked tired_, Isabelle thought.

"I really messed up, didn't I?" she sighed and lowered her eyes

"We all did" Jace replied and headed towards his room when Isabelle grabbed his arm

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Forget about it, don't worry…"

"I'm always worried about you two! It's not like it's just Alec's job to look after us you know"

Jace met her eyes but didn't say anything more as they could hear footsteps around the corner.  
It was her father and Isabelle immediately could feel Jace tense.

"Oh, I didn't know you were up darling" Robert smiled before he saw that Jace was with her. "Is Alec in there? I need to talk to him."

"I'm sure you do" Jace said between his teeth

"Alright, seriously what's going on? Isabelle tried but got interrupted by her father

"It's none of your business Isabelle"

"Dad?"

Robert pushed himself between her and Jace to knock on Alec's door.

"Alexander!"

"He won't talk to you" Jace mumbled, still his eyes on Robert

"Oh yeah?" Robert breathed and tried to open the door

"What are you doing? He's with Magnus you idiot!" Isabelle screamed, making Jace inhale and her father sneer.

"Is he now?"

* * *

"Jace, wait!" Isabelle screamed after him as he hurried down the corridor "Where are you going?"

"I have to call Alec!" Jace screamed back at her before he opened his bedroom door just to slam it in her face

"But why-" She didn't care to knock, just walked in to hear Jace in the phone

"Alec it's me. Listen, your father knows that you're with Magnus... Just call me back when you hear this." Jace begged before he hung up "Fuck" he mumbled and stared at his sister

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she exclaimed and sat down on Jace's bed "I won't leave until you tell me what the hell is going on!"

"I can't tell you" Jace grunted and pulled his hand through his hair. Damn it, this was getting too much to handle, even for him.

A moment later Isabelle was on her feet again, just to slam Jace into the wall

"_Remember this_?" she mumbled "We've been here before - me threatening you and this time I _will not_ let you slip away with it - now_ tell me_ or I might try to kill you!"

"I promised Alec-"

"Oh to hell with that, we both know that you never do as you're told anyway" Isabelle said determined, still her hands on Jace's shoulders.

"Ouch, that hurt little sister" Jace half grinned

"Not as much as-"

"Alright, alright!"

Isabelle let go of Jace but let him know that she watched every move he made.

"Angel.." he breathed

"Come one!" Isabelle pleaded "I'm waiting"

"Fine. But you have to promise me that you won't say anything to Alec about this."

"Sure." Isabelle replied and shrugged

"Close enough" Jace mumbled and rolled his eyes but continued "Alright, a few days ago I caught Alec and your dad up on the attic. I thought they were training but-"

"Yes?" Isabelle filled in and sat down on the bed, looking worried.

"But it turned out.. Ah, I can't believe I'm telling you this" Jace lowered his eyes and already felt guilty. It felt weird, all this emotions rushing over him.

"Spit it out Jace" Isabelle mumbled between her teeth

"He hit him."

For a moment there was nothing but silence between them, Jace now looking up at Isabelle but she wouldn't meet her eyes. She looked shocked.

"Hit who?"

"Your dad...he hit Alec."

Isabelle swallowed hard, her eyes glossy.

"Wh-why would he do that?"

"Izzy come on" Jace begged, hating to see her this way - somehow defeated, just like Alec.

"Because of Alec and Magnus? Why would he do such a thing?" Isabelle continued

"You know he hates it…"

"You can't hate your own flesh and blood" Isabelle breathed, a tear falling down her face

"Apparently you can" Jace whispered and turned around, not knowing what to do.

* * *

Alec woke up by a scream, not realising that it was his own at first. His forehead was sweaty and his heart racing as he sat up.

"Magnus…" he whimpered

"It's alright Alec" Magnus reassured him and sat up as well, placing his arms around Alec's shaking body. Alec leaned his head against Magnus's shoulder and felt the burning in his throat. He had been dreaming about his father hitting him again, telling him that it would be no next time with his beloved Warlock.

"I have..I have to tell you something" Alec whispered between his sobbings and drew his hands through his hair. He could feel Magnus tense because of his words but his voice was calm

"Of course love, I'm listening."

"I ne-need you to promise me that you're just… going to listen, okay?"

"I promise" Magnus replied and stroke Alec's hair, trying to meet his eyes "You know you can tell me anything, everything and I will listen."

"I know" Alec cried "I just don't want to - to tell you something like this."

He slowly turned around to face his lover, feeling how swollen his eyes were because of the tears but Magnus just leaned in and kissed him carefully

"Tell me" he begged Alec

"It's about...my dad. " Alec sighed and lowered his eyes, hoping that it would be easier for his words to come out if he didn't have to see Magnus's sad face.

"What about him?"

Alec noticed how his lover's voice had darkened, knowing that he was fighting his feelings just like Alec was.

"He's been, uh.. talking to me lately about me and you and-" he lost his voice but told himself that there was no turning back now. "and you know that he hasn't been as accepting as my mum. Well, lately he's.. he's been letting me know that."

Tears were still rolling down Alec's face when he carefully looked up at his lover.

"What do you mean?" Magnus mumbled determined and Alec could see the change of shades in his eyes. This was too painful.

"I just - I just mean that's why I've been acting like this around everyone. Because, his… words really hurts you know?" Alec whispered and tried to wipe away his tears.

"Just his words?" Magnus breathed, making Alec tense. _So close…_

"What?" Alec stammered

"Alexander" Magnus pleaded and closed his eyes "Please..._please_ _my dearest Alexander_, tell me he didn't give you that black eye"

Alec swallowed hard, tasting his tears once again and he hated it. He felt sick.

"It..it..was one time" Alec whispered, ashamed not only for lying to Magnus but for himself as well, but before he could explain Magnus rose to his feet

"I'm going to kill him" red sparks were coming from his hands

"Magnus" Alec cried and joined the Warlock on the floor "Please, you promised you would listen"

"Well I'm done listening. Damn you green-eyed monsters!" Magnus words slipped out before he could stop himself.

**(All the feeeeeeeeeels right?!) **


	15. Chapter 15

**Alright guys, I'm really really sorry that this have taken so long - I had a test in school and some other stuff, but I hope you're still holding on and that you want to continue to read this story - I'll try to upload another chapter tomorrow, if not in just a couple of hours! Enjoy :)**

* * *

"I'm not responsible for what I might do to him next time I see him Jace" Isabelle mumbled, her fists closed, referring to her father.

"Yeah, me neither.." Jace replied and grabbed a chair to sit down - he felt exhausted.

"What should we do?"

"_We_ won't do anything" Jace said and tried to look her in the eyes as she tried to wipe away her tears

"But-" Isabelle exclaimed and stood up, wandering back and forward in the room "We must do _something_!"

"I said no" Jace said as calm as he could "Sit down."

He watched Isabelle lay down on the bed again, mumbling something about how stubborn he was but he couldn't hear the rest, all he did was to look at his phone, hoping that Alec would return his call.

* * *

"Magnus" Alec whimpered and walked up to him "Hey, look at me-"

"Don't touch me Alec, I'm not responsible for what I might do…" The Warlock grunted in anger, his jaw set and his fists closed

"Please…" he whispered and reached out to touch Magnus's shoulder anyway "Just, calm down"

"_Calm down?!_" Magnus screamed at him as he turned around, regretting it in the same second as he did by the look on Alec's face. He was scared. "How am I supposed to calm down when I hear that my boyfriend got hurt because of me?" He knew that this was a side he'd never showed Alec before, his demon side…

Alec tried to look him in the eyes, but the loving, shining cat-eyes that normally used to look at him had transformed to something completely else. Hatred. "Don't say that"

"Why not? It's true, isn't it?" Magnus breathed heavily but Alec's touch calmed him down a little. What was he doing? He wasn't the one getting hurt, it was Alec - he had to try to restrain himself.

Alec didn't answer, just shook his head before he lowered it and pulled away his hand, but a few seconds later he could feel Magnus's hand on his as he pulled him closer.  
He couldn't help it - the touch that normally would get him relaxed now made him tense a little. Magnus noticed that and it felt like his heart was breaking now that he seemed to be back to normal.

"Alec, I'm so sorry" he cried and kissed Alec's forehead, holding him tight in his arms "I'm so sorry…"

Alec closed his eyes and leaned his head against the other's chest, feeling Magnus's raising heartbeat. His throat was still burning but he wasn't crying anymore, maybe he didn't have any tears left?

"I-I'm sorry too.." he whispered and looked up carefully "I did-didn't mean to upset you"  
He relaxed in the same second as Magnus's tender and kind eyes looked back at him, knowing that apparently he was back to normal.

"You have no reason to apologize, do you hear that? Not to me, or your father...damn him." Magnus replied but he didn't let go of his lover. He wanted to protect him, more then anything in the whole world - he knew he could take care of himself, he wasn't going to break, he was stronger than he though but still..

"I'm going with you back to the Institute in the morning"

"W-what?" Alec stammered and let go of Magnus's body "What for?"

"I'm going to have a little talk with your so-called father…"

"Magnus-"

"You can't stop me Alec, I'm sorry." Magnus replied and took a step back "You should try to get some more sleep love"

"Sleep? How?" Alec mumbled and sat down on the bedside, his head in his hands "Uh…"

He could feel Magnus's arms around him once again, hugging him from behind as he kissed his neck, making Alec tilt his head slightly. "I don't want to do this.." he whispered, his eyes closed.

"I know" Magnus replied and closed his eyes "I wish you wouldn't have to."


	16. Chapter 16

**Once again - thank you so much for your lovely support and reviews, it means a lot 3 Here's the next chapter - enjoy! **

* * *

"Good morning darling" Maryse smiled as she sat down at the breakfast table.  
Isabelle just nodded and grunted - she hadn't been able to get much sleep after her talk with Jace about Alec and Robert. She sat down beside the empty chair where Alec normally would sit and glanced at Jace "Can you pass me the bread?"

In the same second their father walked in, looking a bit tired himself as he sat down to read the newspaper. She noticed how Jace tensed, so did she and suddenly everything became clear to her - the last couple of days she had noticed that Alec had acted different around their father, somehow tense and on guard - she swallowed hard when she realised that he had been sitting there, pretending that everything was normal when it really wasn't. Their dad had hit him.

"You all are awfully quiet." Maryse mumbled and took a sip of her coffee " Is Alec still asleep?"

"Sorry love" Robert said and looked up with a half-smile

"You're _sorry_?" Isabelle replied with anger in her voice

Robert looked at her "What?" he was confused

"_Izzy_-" Jace mumbled and looked at her as well

"Is something wrong?" Maryse wondered and put down her cup "Isabelle?"

Isabelle set her jaw and stared from her mom to her dad "Maybe you should ask Alec?"

"Well,what about him?" Robert asked and put down the newspaper, still his eyes on his daughter. Did she knew? He suddenly hitched his jaws "Didn't you say he was with Magnus?"

"You-" Isabelle began but got interrupted by Jace who stood up

"Alright, calm down - can we leave the table?" he said and looked at Maryse

"Uh, sure but you haven't eaten anything-" she looked confused and sad but he didn't care, he needed to get Isabelle to calm down and to not get herself into trouble.

"I'm not hungry" he continued and walked over to Isabelle to grab her by the arm "Izzy, do you mind helping me with some stuff back in my room?"

Isabelle looked at him, her eyes burning, just like Alec's could sometimes even though it wasn't very often. Only when they very truly hurt or angry or felt like killing something… or someone.

"Y-You know what-" she stammered but managed to control herself, she didn't want to cause more problems for her brother. She finally nodded and turned around but before she walked out of the door she turned around to look at Robert "I hate you"

* * *

He hadn't been able to go back to sleep since everything was being played up inside his head again; The punches, Jace finding out, his escape to Magnus and now he knew too - soon Isabelle would be the only one who didn't know. And their mum. He sighed for himself and turned around for the 10th time or so that night to look at the clock. 4 a.m

He reached for his phone, somewhat blinded by the light of the screen but he did see that he had one missed call from Jace and a text.  
**I tried to call. I'm sorry brother, Izzy knows.**

He immediately sat up and read it again and again and again before he swallowed hard - she would kill him. _Fuck!_

He looked to his side, not sure whether Magnus was asleep or just pretending, before he felt the half-cold floor beneath his feet to sneak out of the bedroom. He closed the door carefully and went out to the kitchen to sit down at the table, his head in his hands. What was he going to do?  
He didn't want to stop seeing Magnus, no matter what his father might do to him and the angst and fear he had felt before now slowly started to transform into anger - how dared he? How dared he hit his own son because he was in love with another man, when he had fought so hard all those years to 'cure' himself, convincing himself that it was just a phase until it had felt like it was nothing left of him. He raised to his feet again with a grunt and moved to the cupboard to find something to eat, not that he was hungry but…  
His hand stopped at a package of cookies. Max's favourite ones. He smiled sadly to himself - oh how he missed his little brother.  
He wondered what he would have thought of Magnus, of their relationship and everything. Suddenly nausea washed over him and he sat down again at the table, resting his head upon it with the cookies still in his hand before his eyes closed.

As he finally fell asleep, his dreams weren't about his dad this time, but about Sebastian and Max. How he had mocked him, making Alec speechless and then filled with fear and hatred when he had talked to him about that he was going to kill another Lightwood…  
He woke up and felt an arm around his chest, holding him tight and since he still wasn't wide awake, shadowhunter as he was with his reflexes, Alec quickly stood up and pushed the other to the nearest wall, holding a kitchen knife against the man's throat and breathed heavily.

"Alec, it's me!" Magnus shouted at him as he tried to search the blue-eyed boy's burning eyes.

Alec stared at him for no more than a second before he dropped the knife and covered his mouth by his hand. "Oh my god…" he sank down to the floor

Magnus knelt down beside him and stroke his back "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you-"

"I could have killed you" Alec whispered as he rocked back and forth, his hands shaking "I-I could have-"

"Ssh" Magnus replied and wrapped his arms around Alec's shaking body. _Lilith_, his Shadowhunter truly was damaged.


End file.
